One important thing I've learned from many great marriage mentors is to be intentional about your relationship with your partner. Most relationships nowadays lack intention. Everyone is so focused on getting but never willing to give. But the true key to getting what you want is giving what you want.
In part one of this Valentine's Day Special, I will discuss three things a woman should be intentional about in her relationship.
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1. Be intentional about the way you speak to your partner.
A mistake that most women make in relationships is tearing down their partners through their words. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
Suppose you speak to your man like a king, that you'll see. But if you talk to him as a child, that's also what you'll see. In our relationship, we can speak life into our partners and build them to their fullest potential, or we can speak death into them and make them feel inadequate. Our words build our environment. When God created the heavens and the earth, he used his words. So, be intentional about the words you speak over your spouse because that shapes the environment of your relationship.
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2. Show your man he’s doing a good job.
As women, we have to understand life is hard on everyone, even our partners. Most men have silent battles they don't talk about. The two things I've learned men need in this life are respect and peace. That's why God calls us to be helpers, but it doesn't mean we are less than. We are there to work alongside our partner to cultivate all God has given us. But it’s hard to accomplish that when we are negative and critical towards our partner. As a woman, you can be your partner’s place of peace and nourishment.
So encourage your man and show him he’s doing a good job. Don't tell him, show him. When he comes home, meet him at the door and kiss him. Cook his favorite meals. Wear his favorite outfits. Whatever his love language is, cater to it.
Ladies, let me put you on game: Men thrive off praise. Once you tell a man he's good at something, he will work hard to do it better. So be intentional about encouraging your man.
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3. Be intentional about your appearance.
I understand that the busyness of life steals the time we have to cater to our appearance, but that is why it's essential to create a routine that works for you. Don't allow life to hide your beauty. Most women stop putting effort into their appearance once they get comfortable with their spouse.
Before a man approaches a woman, her looks grab his attention, and the same applies even after. Men are motivated by what they see because they are visual creatures. So yes, a man gets excited when he sees his woman looking good.
When I first got saved, God was coaching me through his holy spirit about being a well-put-together woman. I used to walk around my house with pajamas and a bonnet on all the time, but now it's my nature to walk around the house in a simple dress, well moisturized, with my hair done. It makes a massive difference in how you feel about yourself. It also elevates you to a different caliber because your appearance is a part of how you carry yourself.
I hope you ladies enjoyed this Valentine's Day Special. Feel free to leave a comment and feedback. Thank you for your love and support.
Linda Smith